The Power of Feedback: A Path to Growth and Connection

In a recent conversation with my dear friend and practicing psychologist, Al Raffetto, he said something that truly resonated with me: "Feedback is super helpful." At first glance, this might seem like a simple statement, but if you sit with the idea, it contains the secret to meaningful human interaction. Feedback is the currency of connection in professional settings. It offers what books, podcasts, and videos can't—a personal touch, a tailored response, and a deeper understanding of where we stand and how we can grow.

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The Uniqueness of Feedback

Books are fantastic; they hold worlds between their pages, but they’re static. Podcasts are engaging, but you can’t ask them questions. Videos are immersive, but they don’t see you—they’re one-sided. Feedback, however, is the essence of professional interaction. It can be immediate, relevant, and deeply personal. When someone takes the time to give feedback, they're offering more than advice; they're extending support.

As Raffetto says, feedback is an opportunity to show sincere support. But, beyond support, it also allows for timely and relevant challenge. The idea isn’t to flatter or sugarcoat; it’s to encourage growth. This balance of support and challenge is essential to personal and professional development.

The Challenge-Support Model: Navigating Leadership

Psychologist Nevitt Sanford developed a brilliant framework known as the "Challenge-Support Model." His transactional model of development is a guide for leaders looking to nurture growth in their associates.

Here’s how the model breaks down:

• cS (Too Much Support, Not Enough Challenge): Leaders who offer endless support without challenge risk creating an environment where their team doesn’t grow. Associates feel comfortable, but comfort can lead to complacency. Without challenge, there’s little motivation to stretch beyond the known.

• Cs (Too Much Challenge, Not Enough Support): On the other hand, leaders who lean heavily into challenge without offering support create environments that feel oppressive. Associates may feel overwhelmed, unappreciated, and may either shut down or leave the organization. As Henry Ford said, "Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success." But without support, the "keeping together" part gets shaky.

• CS (Balanced Support and Challenge): The sweet spot is the balance between challenge and support. This is where true growth happens. When leaders give their associates both encouragement and constructive criticism, they cultivate environments where people feel safe to push their boundaries. It's the space where associates stretch, stumble, and succeed.

The beauty of this model is that it’s applicable to every form of relationship—between leaders and associates, teachers and students, even parents and children. Like everything else, balance is key.

Giving and Asking: A Two-Way Street

In this give-and-take dynamic, leaders need to master both giving and asking. Sanford’s model suggests that giving support alone is not enough. To create a thriving team, leaders need to ask for something in return. When we only give, people may become dependent or complacent, thinking there's nothing more they need to do. Conversely, asking for too much without offering any support can feel transactional, leaving people feeling used or unappreciated.

The answer? Give and ask. It’s a delicate dance, but when done right, both parties grow. Like the saying goes, “You get what you give.” But, remember, giving first—without overwhelming—builds trust. Asking first, before you’ve earned the right, can lead to frustration or pushback.

Remain in Sight and in Mind

The essence of leadership and professional interaction goes beyond what happens when you’re in the room. It’s reflected in the lasting impact you leave behind. As a leader, speaker, or professional, when you leave, you need to remain in sight and in mind. That’s how real change happens. How? Leave your audience with stories that inspire or pictures that make them think.

As Maya Angelou once beautifully said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." And feedback, especially when given with intention, leaves people feeling seen, heard, and valued. It's the greatest gift we can offer in a professional setting.

Feedback as a Tool for Growth

Feedback is more than helpful—it’s essential. It connects us, teaches us, and pushes us to be better versions of ourselves. But like anything else, it needs balance. Support without challenge leads to stagnation, and challenge without support leads to breakdowns.

The next time you give feedback—whether to a colleague, associate, or loved one—remember this: Give from a place of support, but don’t shy away from challenge. Create environments where feedback isn’t merely tolerated, but actively encouraged. And most importantly, always leave a lasting impression.

After all, “We all need somebody to lean on” as Bill Withers reminds us. And in that leaning, we find strength.

I am dedicated to helping you become increasingly irresistible and financially invincible. Together, through intentional and achievable steps, we can make your future brighter than your today, build your confidence, build your wealth and give you the freedom you deserve, in your business and personal life. Today is your day. Let’s get started. Contact me here.

References:

• Angelou, M. (1978). "Still I Rise." Random House.

• Sanford, N. (1967). Where Colleges Fail: A Study of the Student as a Person. Jossey-Bass.

• Raffetto, A. (2023). Personal discussion on feedback and professional growth.

• Withers, B. (1972). Lean on Me.