"It’s safer here than in my country," one of the young women said softly, her words hanging in the air with a truth that many of our foreparents, and some of us, understand. Across from me sat two best friends, both in their twenties—one from Ukraine, the other from Russia—together in the United States, far from the war that has torn their homelands apart.
Photo Courtesy of Wix Media
They had known each other before the conflict, their friendship forged in a shared space of laughter and dreams. Now, thousands of miles away, they were learning English, studying how to care for nails, and rebuilding their lives in a place where war is an echo, not an immediate threat.
The irony of their friendship, formed across borders that had since become battlegrounds, was not lost on me. "It’s the leaders who are at war, not the people," they explained, and I found myself nodding in agreement. Their words struck me because, in their simplicity, they illuminated the larger truth: that greed, power, and the thirst for dominance often eclipse the humanity that binds us all.
And perhaps, if the leaders of their countries had mastered the art of irresistible communication, the kind that builds bridges rather than destroys them, they wouldn’t have been driven from their homes in the first place.
Greed, Power, and the Cost of Communication Failures
When we think of war, we often think of the immediate consequences—lives lost, cities destroyed, families torn apart. But war is, at its core, a failure of communication. As President Dwight D. Eisenhower, a man who knew the toll of war all too well, once said, “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed.” War feeds on greed and the lust for power, fueled by leaders who would rather dominate than engage in meaningful dialogue.
The military-industrial complex, which Eisenhower famously warned against, thrives on this very failure. It is a machine that profits from conflict, from the inability of nations to sit down at a table and find common ground. Greed turns disagreements into battlegrounds, and the people—people like the two friends—pay the price. And in the wake of this, communication, the very tool that could prevent conflict, is often overlooked, overshadowed by the roar of gunfire and the hunger for control.
The Role of Money: From Profit to Peace
If you follow the money, as the saying goes, you’ll often find the root of the conflict. War is a lucrative business. According to a study by Brown University’s Costs of War project, the United States alone has spent over $8 trillion on wars since 2001. Money flows into defense contracts, arms manufacturing, and the endless cycle of destruction and rebuilding. But what if that money, instead of being funneled into conflict, was directed toward building irresistible communication channels between nations?
Imagine if the world’s greatest minds in negotiation, peace-building, and diplomacy were funded with the same zeal that we fund the military. Instead of the war machine, we would have a peace machine. In this alternate reality, the leaders of Ukraine and Russia wouldn’t be battling on the ground—they’d be sitting at the table, engaging in the kind of dialogue that heals rather than harms. As former President Jimmy Carter once said, “War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other's children.”
And yet, greed and power often blind us to this possibility. The war industrial complex thrives on division, on the belief that peace is unattainable because conflict is inevitable. But what if that’s just a failure of imagination? What if it’s a failure of communication?
War vs. Peace: The Art of Irresistible Communication
The best communicators know that words have the power to heal or harm, to build or break. Maya Angelou once said, “Words mean more than what is set down on paper. It takes the human voice to infuse them with deeper meaning.” In the context of international relations, this deeper meaning is often lost amidst the noise of power struggles and political posturing. Instead of listening to each other, nations shout over one another, believing that the loudest voice will win. But this approach only leads to misunderstanding, miscommunication, and, eventually, conflict.
Irresistible communication, on the other hand, involves connection. It requires finding the common threads that link us together, even in the midst of division. It demands empathy and understanding. When the two friends told me that their countries were at war, I realized that their relationship was a testament to the power of connection beyond borders. While their leaders engaged in a violent struggle for power, they had chosen a different path—one of peace, friendship, and communication.
Movies like Gandhi show us the transformative power of non-violent communication. In Gandhi, we see how one man, armed only with his voice and his principles, was able to challenge the might of an empire. His weapon wasn’t a sword or a gun—it was dialogue, negotiation, and an unshakeable belief in the power of peace. As Gandhi himself said, “An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.” And yet, we so often ignore this wisdom, believing that power can only be demonstrated through dominance.
The Road to Peace: Learning from Irresistible Communication
The conversation I had with those two young women reminded me of the essential truth that politicians, corporate giants, and military leaders often forget: people are not naturally at war with one another. Leaders may have political disagreements, but the everyday citizens of the world share common desires—safety, happiness, the opportunity to thrive. When we fail to communicate these shared values, we allow division to grow. When communication breaks down, war is what follows.
But what if we, as individuals, committed to irresistible communication? What if we, like the two friends from Ukraine and Russia, chose connection over conflict? What if we practiced active listening, empathy, and curiosity in our daily lives and in the halls of power? John F. Kennedy once said, “Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind.” He was right, but perhaps the first step toward that end is learning how to truly communicate.
Beyond War—A Future of Connection
In the end, war is about much more than the guns and bombs—it reflects the failures of communication that make them necessary. And the military-industrial complex, as powerful as it is, thrives on these failures. But as individuals, as communities, and as nations, we have the power to change the narrative. We can choose to invest in irresistible communication, in the kind of dialogue that connects rather than divides.
The friends from Ukraine and Russia remind me that peace is not an abstract ideal—it’s something that lives in our relationships, in our conversations, in the way we listen and the way we speak. If two young women, from countries at war, can maintain a friendship built on communication and understanding, then perhaps there is hope for the rest of us. Perhaps, in the end, peace isn’t found through power or greed, but through the simple act of speaking—and listening—with empathy.
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